You are here, right now currently. Sitting on your chair and reading this blog post. You arrived here. You’ve made it!!! 

And you’re thinking…

‘’But it’s not the way I want it to be – I haven’t gotten that promotion as yet.’’

Or

‘’I don’t have the bank balance that I thought I would have at this age.’’

Or 

‘’This is not where I am supposed to be.’’

How many times have you expressed your dissatisfaction with where you are in your life? 

When did you start that nasty habit?? 

How do you know something should be happening? BECAUSE IT IS HAPPENING! (Byron Katie)

Often, we look back with so much disdain for our past and our present that the future becomes something so out of reach, so unbelievably impossible. You’ve done this if you’ve ever criticized your body at any earlier age of your life, and you keep doing it regardless of how much you’ve worked on it – it’s a habit formed.

It sends a very specific message to your brain and to your future: ’You will never have me because you will never be good enough to deserve me.’

So, what do we do? We march on with self-loathing and crippling cynicism not only for our future but for who we are as human beings. That state of chronic self-loathing keeps us in a constant mode of chasing, despite our achieving the thing we’re chasing.

What are we chasing? A better future potential, better life circumstances, to be more than what we are right now? 

Hopefully we all want to improve and grow and have better tomorrows. Hopefully we are all leaning in to expanding ourselves further than where we are today.

When we do that from a place of embracing our present just as it is, acknowledging where we’ve come from and all it took to get here, when we take the time to stop and appreciate our process – this is a state of deep reverence for who we are, a state of wholeness.

When we have destination syndrome, we chase one achievement after the next like they’re Ticktacks! We move quickly without pausing to acknowledge our growth. We are never satisfied with where we find ourselves and before we have truly received one accolade, we’re already thinking about our next conquest. We’re chasing a loving future without loving our present selves. Does this sound familiar?

If it does – amazing! You’re bringing awareness to this pattern. Why do we do this? Somewhere within us we hold a deep and painful belief that we are not good enough and we’re only good enough when we are accumulating and doing – we live in a state of shame for who we actually are. It is a state of not enough-ness and unsafety. If this is you here’s what you can do:

1. Ask yourself ‘what would happen if this is as good as it gets, would I still love myself?’
2. What would I tell my child self who didn’t believe he/she was good enough?
3. Write down all the things you have achieved, both externally and internally, until this present moment.
4. Take a deep breath in and allow yourself to receive this list and how far you have already come without trying to think about your next steps.

The way out of the unending loop of shame, punishment and chasing is choosing to completely accept and feel the discomfort in NOT chasing BUT pausing to acknowledge what you have already done. This will move you further along that you can even imagine!

In love and gratitude