What to do when life gets in the way?

What to do when life gets in the way?

by | May 29, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

You know this one all too well: 

you plan to the most minute detail, to account for everything in your life until it throws you a curveball! Life’s sense of humour, when we take our lives too seriously, can really test what we’re made of. 

What do we usually do in situations like these? 

We go into a frenzy, we stress about how things will work out, we internalise the situation, and feel shame or guilt for being human. This is our default process, our unconscious and very mammalian stress response kicking into gear.

How do we respond differently to these outside circumstances that are so loud and demanding of our immediate attention?

  • We go in the opposite direction. 
  • We stand our ground firmly and how we do that is by steadying our nervous system.
  • We plant ourselves firmly in our bodies by consciously becoming aware of our breath. We allow our breath to deepen as it takes us deeper into our bodies.
  • We may play some soothing music.
  • We may feel like crying, laughing or screaming (this is the release response – letting go of all that tension that is welling up inside the body). You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to let all that worry and stress out of your body, even if it takes you to a feeling of complete powerlessness. That is just the call for you to surrender. 

Usually when we have some kind of release, we allow ourselves to become emptier and more receptive to the information and guidance that is waiting for us. It comes in the form of inspiration to go in a new direction or to take a different action step. We may find that what has just gone wrong wants us to apply a completely new solution. All new information of the highest quality is waiting for your receptivity to be open and trusted before it can be recognised by our centers for cognition.

Most of the time, we want to know what this detour has happened, because we don’t have all the information available to us at the time. Have you ever looked back at the circumstances of your past and realised that certain things needed to happen, no matter how painful or inconvenient at the time? Looking back you can see why you were meant to stay in a place you were longing to get out of (maybe you met someone really amazing as a result or found a job that is exactly right for you in that place). We can never see the whole picture, we can only see the square that we have our feet on at the time. The thing about life is that it is constantly unfolding and we won’t ever ‘know’ for sure how things will pan out. Our work lies in trusting the path of our unfolding and also letting go of any preconceptions about our futures that are based on past fears.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. – John Lennon

Individual practicing deep breathing meditation for stress relief
Quote on What to do when life gets in the way?
Hands releasing light symbolizing the emotional release and letting go of stress

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Old Emotions, New Situations

Old Emotions, New Situations

by | May 22, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Our thoughts, emotions, and bodies are all connected. Western medicine and healing modalities traditionally dealt with these as separate parts – almost like a mechanic would service a car. We are slowly beginning to realise that contrary to this perspective on human beings, there is an interconnectedness between all parts these parts, they are in fact a reflection of each other and work together.

I was at my laptop and found a bill that was sent to me without a breakdown of the total amount. My immediate thought was ‘’I always get screwed over’’ and then my heart started racing away. I stepped away from my laptop to go make some tea because I saw that where I was was in an outdated version of thinking that the new me had worked very hard on purging. The old belief was ‘’I always get screwed over.’’ I understood that the belief formed an emotion within my body and that emotion prompted my body to release a chemical response that caused my heart to start racing. 

Just having the knowledge of the process helped me this time, but it wasn’t enough to still the thoughts that gripped me so tightly, trying to force me to accept them as true. I stood there, stirring the pot as I slow-brewed my tea. I identified (from past experiences) that I had to get my awareness back into my body and soften the blow to my nervous system. As I stirred the pot I started doing my deep diaphragm breathing making sure that my inhales were as long as my exhales. I focused on bringing more oxygen into my body. By the time my tea was brewed, I was feeling a lot more expansive and fully in control of my ship!

I walked over to my laptop and responded to the email and then decided to ring the sender in a calm manner to find out what the problem was. To my surprise, it was a problem with my email, and the breakdown of the statement was easily viewed from another email address. After feeling a tad foolish and remembering that this was an old identity paying out, I was able to see the situation as a beautiful reminder that ‘’I am always supported in my world’’ (my new belief to replace the distorted one).

The moral of the story – Old identities try to express themselves through new situations and if we are aware of the fact that they have no relevance to us now, we can quickly step into who we are now and what we are wanting to affirm for our lives. It takes some time to practice a new identity and it takes some time for the old versions to run themselves out of their system but every time we affirm by putting our attention on what our preference is at any moment, we begin to shift over to our new versions (and new neural pathways).

Much love!

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Needs VS Neediness

Needs VS Neediness

by | Apr 10, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

It’s taken me a long time to share what I have discovered about relationships (2 years in fact) – I wanted to ensure I had integrated PROPERLY all that I had learned.

We look to partner, mostly, because we’re looking to fulfill something within ourselves. There’s a kind of neediness that pervades our romantic relationships (whether you’re anxiously attached or not).

We chase after love and affection from our distant partners, we try to be ‘good’ for them in every way possible and when they don’t return our displays of affection and love we feel terrible. It is cyclical and can chip away at our self-worth.

What’s really going on, typically, has very little to do with our partners – it has more to do with ourselves and that feeling of incompleteness we may feel that drives the entire thing.

When we start to first address that feeling and tend to our own feelings of emptiness, we can start seeing through the hormone-driven illusory nature of it all and our true needs become apparent. The relationship itself then takes its rightful place (this may mean that the relationship is not the right one for you) and some real conversation will need to take place.

How do we even recognize when we are chasing something?

  • It will be a strong compulsion towards winning someone else’s love or affection.
  • You feel drained when you’re with the other person, yet you stay.
  • There is little to no reciprocation of your energy and spirit of giving.
  • Most of your time is consumed by a preoccupation with the other person and the connection itself.
  • Your boundaries are not firm with the other person.
  • You can not be yourself in the relationship (you have to become someone else to win over their love and affection).

We ALWAYS complete ourselves first and only then can we make space for what is truly a fit for us.

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

What Else is Possible?

What Else is Possible?

by | Apr 3, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Everything around us is information:  from the feelings we experience to the type of food that we consume – it all holds information. What we do is assign a meaning to all of it. For example: eating a cheeseburger from the fast-food place around the corner could mean bonding time with kids to some parents, it could mean a sense of comfort for others, and then for others, it could have no meaning associated with it at all. I have spoken about this in a previous love letter to you.

Sometimes we get tired of the same experiences. Sometimes we want to create new experiences but our sense of perception may be closed off to the world of infinite possibilities because we’re locked into one very specific paradigm. What can help us broaden our own perspective about ourselves and the world is asking questions (without answering them immediately but rather for the answer to arrive on our doorstep through what the outside presents to us).

I’ve been using a very specific question to experiment with this and the question is ‘what else is possible?’ It comes from my studies in Access Bars Consciousness. I wasn’t quite aware of how powerful this little tool was at the time. It’s now that I realize how it opens up your mind to be able to perceive more than what your brain’s wiring allows you to perceive. 

I ask myself this question whenever I would like to experience something different in my life but tend to be hit with the same experience as I always have been. I found that I am able to see other options more clearly. If for example I want to go out to dinner and I am about to take the route to the same restaurant I always have, I ask the question ‘what else is possible?’ It gives me time to pause and consciously think about what I’m feeling: am I wanting the same choices that are available on the menu? Am I wanting to go there out of habit? Am I resistant to going to other places because I know that this place is reliable in terms of service and quality? 

Do you see? It sets the ball in motion for self-inquiry and analysis. It allows us to self-reflect and make a choice from free will as opposed to choices that have been created as automated programmed ways of being and routine. This way we allow ourselves to embrace change and new experiences and we ‘Break the Habit of Being Ourselves’ (as Dr Joe Dispenza’s book title of the same name suggests). It’s a wonderful question to guide you along your day and to make a daily practice out of.

We can empty ourselves completely to allow ourselves to experience our highest potential.

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Attention

Attention

by | Mar 27, 2023 | About Nirushka | 0 comments

The world our five senses engages with can be misleading. It will usually try to pull us in as many directions as it possibly can if we haven’t cultivated a relationship with our inner world. We can absolutely get stuck in the world our 5 senses would have us prioritised. 

What I have realized this week while I focused on my work schedule and daily duties, is that it was starting to pull me away from my inner world, largely because my attention was so focused on the outside world, without maintaining my attention on my inner world at the same time (when we do this in our daily life, it becomes a sort of meditative state that we move from). As a result, I started feeling frazzled and very unlike myself. 

Where we place our attention is where energy flows. You don’t have to take my word for it. Try it: Put all your focus on your left hand. Notice your fingers. Notice all the lines on your skin, notice all the tiny hairs. Place all your attention there for 5 whole minutes. Soon you’ll start to feel the flow of blood in your hand and fingertips. You’ll start to feel an aliveness there in your left hand and soon all that exists is your left hand.

It is the same thing with thinking. If we place our focus on a certain way of thinking and hold it there, soon we will experience that way of thinking. For example, we can do this by thinking about a pleasant thought (having a great day) if we keep placing our thinking in this place, our emotions tend to follow. Then watch what happens to our bodies. We start to notice ease happening in our body, the more we focus on having a great day. We may even smile. 

If we keep coming back to this thought of having a great day, we may even find that what would normally annoy us doesn’t have the same effect. This is because all our energy is focused on having a great day. It is impossible for us to have a contradictory experience. This is the nature of our attention. The more you do this, the more you start to notice just how much power you have over your own life experience regardless of the situations or circumstances you are in. Your attention is a powerful tool to get you directing your energies to where you would like them to go. 

‘’You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” (Marcus Aurelius)

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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