Old Emotions, New Situations

Old Emotions, New Situations

by | May 22, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Our thoughts, emotions, and bodies are all connected. Western medicine and healing modalities traditionally dealt with these as separate parts – almost like a mechanic would service a car. We are slowly beginning to realise that contrary to this perspective on human beings, there is an interconnectedness between all parts these parts, they are in fact a reflection of each other and work together.

I was at my laptop and found a bill that was sent to me without a breakdown of the total amount. My immediate thought was ‘’I always get screwed over’’ and then my heart started racing away. I stepped away from my laptop to go make some tea because I saw that where I was was in an outdated version of thinking that the new me had worked very hard on purging. The old belief was ‘’I always get screwed over.’’ I understood that the belief formed an emotion within my body and that emotion prompted my body to release a chemical response that caused my heart to start racing. 

Just having the knowledge of the process helped me this time, but it wasn’t enough to still the thoughts that gripped me so tightly, trying to force me to accept them as true. I stood there, stirring the pot as I slow-brewed my tea. I identified (from past experiences) that I had to get my awareness back into my body and soften the blow to my nervous system. As I stirred the pot I started doing my deep diaphragm breathing making sure that my inhales were as long as my exhales. I focused on bringing more oxygen into my body. By the time my tea was brewed, I was feeling a lot more expansive and fully in control of my ship!

I walked over to my laptop and responded to the email and then decided to ring the sender in a calm manner to find out what the problem was. To my surprise, it was a problem with my email, and the breakdown of the statement was easily viewed from another email address. After feeling a tad foolish and remembering that this was an old identity paying out, I was able to see the situation as a beautiful reminder that ‘’I am always supported in my world’’ (my new belief to replace the distorted one).

The moral of the story – Old identities try to express themselves through new situations and if we are aware of the fact that they have no relevance to us now, we can quickly step into who we are now and what we are wanting to affirm for our lives. It takes some time to practice a new identity and it takes some time for the old versions to run themselves out of their system but every time we affirm by putting our attention on what our preference is at any moment, we begin to shift over to our new versions (and new neural pathways).

Much love!

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Needs VS Neediness

Needs VS Neediness

by | Apr 10, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

It’s taken me a long time to share what I have discovered about relationships (2 years in fact) – I wanted to ensure I had integrated PROPERLY all that I had learned.

We look to partner, mostly, because we’re looking to fulfill something within ourselves. There’s a kind of neediness that pervades our romantic relationships (whether you’re anxiously attached or not).

We chase after love and affection from our distant partners, we try to be ‘good’ for them in every way possible and when they don’t return our displays of affection and love we feel terrible. It is cyclical and can chip away at our self-worth.

What’s really going on, typically, has very little to do with our partners – it has more to do with ourselves and that feeling of incompleteness we may feel that drives the entire thing.

When we start to first address that feeling and tend to our own feelings of emptiness, we can start seeing through the hormone-driven illusory nature of it all and our true needs become apparent. The relationship itself then takes its rightful place (this may mean that the relationship is not the right one for you) and some real conversation will need to take place.

How do we even recognize when we are chasing something?

  • It will be a strong compulsion towards winning someone else’s love or affection.
  • You feel drained when you’re with the other person, yet you stay.
  • There is little to no reciprocation of your energy and spirit of giving.
  • Most of your time is consumed by a preoccupation with the other person and the connection itself.
  • Your boundaries are not firm with the other person.
  • You can not be yourself in the relationship (you have to become someone else to win over their love and affection).

We ALWAYS complete ourselves first and only then can we make space for what is truly a fit for us.

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

What Else is Possible?

What Else is Possible?

by | Apr 3, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Everything around us is information:  from the feelings we experience to the type of food that we consume – it all holds information. What we do is assign a meaning to all of it. For example: eating a cheeseburger from the fast-food place around the corner could mean bonding time with kids to some parents, it could mean a sense of comfort for others, and then for others, it could have no meaning associated with it at all. I have spoken about this in a previous love letter to you.

Sometimes we get tired of the same experiences. Sometimes we want to create new experiences but our sense of perception may be closed off to the world of infinite possibilities because we’re locked into one very specific paradigm. What can help us broaden our own perspective about ourselves and the world is asking questions (without answering them immediately but rather for the answer to arrive on our doorstep through what the outside presents to us).

I’ve been using a very specific question to experiment with this and the question is ‘what else is possible?’ It comes from my studies in Access Bars Consciousness. I wasn’t quite aware of how powerful this little tool was at the time. It’s now that I realize how it opens up your mind to be able to perceive more than what your brain’s wiring allows you to perceive. 

I ask myself this question whenever I would like to experience something different in my life but tend to be hit with the same experience as I always have been. I found that I am able to see other options more clearly. If for example I want to go out to dinner and I am about to take the route to the same restaurant I always have, I ask the question ‘what else is possible?’ It gives me time to pause and consciously think about what I’m feeling: am I wanting the same choices that are available on the menu? Am I wanting to go there out of habit? Am I resistant to going to other places because I know that this place is reliable in terms of service and quality? 

Do you see? It sets the ball in motion for self-inquiry and analysis. It allows us to self-reflect and make a choice from free will as opposed to choices that have been created as automated programmed ways of being and routine. This way we allow ourselves to embrace change and new experiences and we ‘Break the Habit of Being Ourselves’ (as Dr Joe Dispenza’s book title of the same name suggests). It’s a wonderful question to guide you along your day and to make a daily practice out of.

We can empty ourselves completely to allow ourselves to experience our highest potential.

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Settling the Nervous System and PTSD

Settling the Nervous System and PTSD

by | Mar 24, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Sometimes in life, there will be unforeseen incidents that may make our hearts pound and leave us shaking at the knees. One such incident happened to me over the weekend and re-ignited a long-forgotten PTSD response.

Myself and my little chihuahua had been bitten by a dog that escaped its yard in our apartment complex. We both got away relatively unscathed. After my heart rate returned to normal and I made sure that my Belle was alright I sat down and felt the most unnerving and terrible feeling in my body. It felt like I had sand in my veins – a most uncomfortable buzz that I had solved many years ago after having suffered through it for many years of my life. My body was experiencing PTSD. 

This time was different, I had support from friends and loved ones along with an arsenal of techniques to get me out of freeze mode. I got my yoga mat out and did some T.R.E. (trauma release exercise). It felt good to feel my body shake off the stress. I allowed myself to cry out all that fear that was stuck in my body. I started feeling angry at the owner, who was negligent enough to not secure his front gate that allowed the dog to escape, so I grabbed a couch cushion and screamed the anger into it until I felt I was completely done. I did a few side stretches, to help my nervous system to settle. I felt semi-decent again. I took a call from someone I love dearly, and we spoke through the event, and after all that, I felt like I had passed it. 

I tried to move through my day as usual but what I noticed was that my thoughts were all heavy and dark and there was a tightness in my body. Something was still gripping me tight and I realized I hadn’t fully let go of the incident from earlier that day. I focused very intently on gratitude and trying to notice the positive things about my day but it was almost as if I had no access to them. I was stuck in a loop with PTSD. 

The next day, I repeated the whole process of the day before all over again – and then the release came. I wept hysterically, and as I did something broke open. It was a feeling that came through very subtly and softly that gave me access to peace. It was my nervous system settling. I wanted to share this piece with you especially if you have been struggling with a dysregulated nervous system or if you have been stuck in a shock response for some time. You can familiarize yourself with some of the tools I mention. It may not help you instantly, but it does have an accumulative effect, I can assure you. 

Here is a summary of the tools and techniques I have used, along with some added practices: 

  • T.R.E. – great for shaking off stress.
  • Talking to someone you’re close to as a support.
  • Deep belly breathing or Holotropic Breathwork
  • Journalling
  • Expressing your emotion through crying or screaming 
  • Yoga or deep stretching
  • Gym workouts
  • Playing music that you feel is appropriate.

I hope this serves 

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Soulmates

Soulmates

by | Mar 20, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Let’s talk about this topic for a bit. I hear this word come up a lot around the topic of romantic love. Many of us long for a ‘soulmate’. Someone who can be our best friend, someone who ‘just gets us’, that one person who is perfectly in tune with who we are, perfectly aligned to all our positive and negative traits! Sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it? Even in meeting the most compatible of partners, we still find that there is some distance to bridge or some kinks to iron out. 

The idea of a soulmate is a concept that speaks to the highest potential of human relating. It was formed in our very human world. It is sometimes a very dangerous idea that may threaten our sense of autonomy. It may also be an unrealistic idea that we use to keep what is very real at bay. We may have even held our very perfectly flawed partners to this unachievable gold standard in relationships. Beyond the concept is a longing for depth and connection that we are seeking to be fulfilled in our romantic partnerships. Like with all things – we have to become that first to ourselves before we can receive it. 

The word ‘partnership’ implies a team (two functioning parts of a whole). If we are not happy within ourselves, how much are we adding to our partnerships? Or do we need to look at what our relationship to ourselves is first, so that we can contribute in a more meaningful way to the partnership? The truth is we all want to be partnered up while not realizing that we are a partner to ourselves first because we are in relationship to ourselves FIRST. So what if we could apply this concept to ourselves so that we can be better soulmates for others.

How would your relationship to yourself change if you could be a soulmate to yourself? Would you be a good soulmate to yourself? How would you feel about yourself if you considered yourself your own soulmate? 

You could go deeper with this and ask yourself:

  • What is my partner’s experience of me as a soulmate?
  • How could I show up for them in a way that feels better for us both?
  • What is my relationship lacking at the moment? How can I first try and give that to myself and then bring that into my relationship?

Dare to be your very own soulmate first and then extend that relationship to the others in your life!

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

God Is in the Details

God Is in the Details

by | Mar 13, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

5 years ago, if anyone would have asked me what I would be putting into my body in 2023 there was no way I would have answered ‘predominantly raw fruits and vegetables’. My answer would largely resemble something along the lines of ‘cakes and anything that tastes good’. In 5 years, a lot has changed but change hasn’t happened overnight. It’s been a slow and steady slink to a healthier lifestyle, and if I was still choosing incorrectly for my body, my body would make certain that was no longer the case!

The thing is that things change over time and it’s not the time that does the changing but it’s our conscious decision to change. A lot of us make very drastic resolutions when there’s a new year ahead of us but what often happens is that we cannot sustain the same gusto and momentum as we did when we made those resolutions and we give up – either because the task we set out for ourselves is too big and overwhelming to achieve or because that thing is still working for us in a way. In any event, when we fail to reach our goal we downward spiral into negative thinking patterns about ourselves that can devastate our self-image and any future attempts at success. 

So how can we get to where we want to go? Incremental changes! James Clear has an entire book dedicated to habit building. ‘Atomic Habits’, details exactly how to go about forming new habits (a worthwhile read)! What I found is that pretty simple, small incremental changes over time that are easy to achieve and enjoyable make for great success. We often don’t achieve what we want to because we make it really difficult for ourselves, we put pressure on ourselves to get it done but we forget to have fun with it, and we forget to make it play. 

Here are some tips for getting to your 2023 goals and resolutions:

  • Get into the mindset of seeing your goal as something to play with. Lighten up around it!
  • If it’s a big thing you’re wanting to achieve like cutting out sugar from your diet, try cutting it out incrementally over a period of time and not all at once!
  • Acknowledge your progress and find small ways to celebrate them.
  • Remember why you are doing what you are doing.
  • Smile! You’re handling a lot!

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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