I never understood the concept of commitment, until I saw my ‘’half-in half-out’’ behaviours. Nothing seemed wrong and I didn’t fully understand what I was doing until I looked at the level of distrust that permeated all my relationships. 

I was blaming them for not showing up for me, choosing other people and situations besides me and not fully committing to the relationship. I felt unseen, small, invisible and like I didn’t matter…

And I was right to feel that way – I didn’t matter! I was choosing everything and everyone else in my life besides myself. Everyone else played a far greater role in my life except for me. Just like comedic supporting role in a movie – the charismatic, funny and witty supporting actor that should be the lead role but doesn’t take anything serious enough that falls short of convincing us that they’re going anywhere – they don’t take themselves serious and neither do we!

Yup, I was that guy and then I wondered why all the amazing things happened to other people. It was convenient to blame fate!

Yeah! How many times have you compared your life to your friends who all the amazing things happen to? As if by design! 

Here’s a secret – it is a design! It is the design of an archaic program you were gifted by many different people in your life. You’ve watched the adults run the same code as you were growing up. It was taught to you.

You’ve been put in the Waiting Room of your life!

And now I hear you asking:

‘’What do I do about it?’’

Here are a few things you can do:

• Define what is important to you and what kind of life you want.
• Decide that you are worth pursuing a life that feels good to you!
• Observe all the behaviours that aren’t supportive of the life you want and kick them to the curb!
• Do what isn’t comfortable – you’re going to have to get a little uncomfortable doing things that are new and scary.
• At every choice point ask yourself – ‘’Is this supportive of the life I want to create?’’

This is your commitment to yourself first and foremost. If we want the love we seek in another, we first have to make sure that we’re giving ourselves that love first.

Life’s an adventure – and it’s yours if you choose it!

In love and gratitude