Down the Rabbit Hole

Deep down you’ve known something wasn’t quite right inside. So you read a little and you understand a little more.

You decide – I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I must be able to fix it. So you reach out and find a professional to hold your hand through their process to understand a little more. 

You spend a few months, maybe a few years. Maybe its helped your mind understand that maybe your parents yelling profanities in your face had a little to do with it and your first love broke your trust in the opposite sex and that definitely had something to do with it. It’s still gnawing at your insides – something still isn’t quite right.

You decide – I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I must be able to fix it. So get a little help from your search engine and you find something else. You book your first consultation for whoo-whoo energy healing session with a lady who burns incense and judging from her room –  has an endless fascination with colourful rocks. You don’t buy in but you’re willing to try it. After all you must be able to fix it.

You spend a few months, indulging her whimsical dispositions. You feel a little different, maybe a month, maybe two. You saw your folks last December, it comes up again. I must be able to fix it. You hear of something that will definitely help for sure, something that is a little bit out of character. A microdose of an unfamiliar substance. It sounds like a far-reach, but if it comes in a pill form – it surely works. You gather details together with the product. Its been a few good months, you’ve been better and then your partner wants a divorce. You feel it again. Something isn’t quite right. I must be able to fix it.

Your spouse leaves. You feel worst off than you start off. The pain is unbearable and your parents screaming profanities had nothing to do with it this time. There are no more pills left, you gone as far as you can go and the low you’ve hit tops rock bottom. You get under the covers and stay there – it’s been 3 whole days of unrelenting tears and pain turned to body ache. You can’t eat – you’re too busy digesting all these emotions. It comes through, your lifetime of denying these feelings. You offer them up on your alter, one by one as they pour out of every pore