Remember the scene in the Matrix, where Neo stops running from Agent Smith. He turns around to face him and jumps right through him. This was the ultimate testament to him overcoming his fear. When he realizes that he had nothing to fear, he starts to believe that he is indeed ‘The One’. He was triumphant in standing his ground. 

We feel the visceral sensations that fear may illicit, deeply to the core of our bones. They are feelings of the vastness of our being, being squeezed through a very narrow passageway in the cave of experience. It’s our primal selves fighting to stay, not only to keep us safe but also to keep us from what is unfamiliar. You may have heard the saying ‘everything you’re wanting is on the other side of fear’. The truth is that we have no way of knowing what is around the corner, there is no way of knowing if we will be safe or not and that ‘not knowing’ is terrifying. 

We run! We run from what scares us, to a place of safety. Our minds run from one scenario to another, projecting worse case scenarios endlessly, a steady stream of ‘what ifs’. Our mind is the one doing the running. Our fears are based on past experiences. We may have been hurt by similar circumstances or challenges in the past or by certain people in the past and when we’re facing new challenges and people, our old fears get triggered. Those fears are based in pain. Our fear response is to avoid that kind of pain again. 

So, what happens is we get caught in a fear-loop, where our mind is creating these scenarios that are terrifying to us and our bodies become tense, we have heart palpitations and we become sweaty, and the feeling of dread becomes all-pervasive. We could become paralyzed completely by fear and avoid making any sort of decision. We may avoid the situation or the person in front of us. It is the way we are biologically set up to deal with an outside threat.   

How do we choose a new response? Like Neo, in the Matrix, we must stare straight into the heart of the storm, straight into the heart of our fears. We must understand it first, to see its true face -usually pain rooted in some traumatic event of the past, or making of our own internal limitations. We must learn to find our own center in the wake of its presence, our own truth, creating a distance or gap between it and you. Understanding that it does not define you but rather it is something you are experiencing, a triggered response. The mind can very cleverly trick you into believing that it is true, when in fact what you are needing is a reframe, away from past programming. 

First, allow yourself to offer a seat of compassion for yourself, and honor what you are feeling and what the fear is triggering in you. Sit with those feelings as uncomfortable as they may feel, even if it feels like you want to crawl out of your skin. Offer yourself the same compassion you would a dear friend. Be as tender as you can before you begin the reframing process.

Things you can do to move past your fear.

• Ask yourself: is what is your mind telling you true?
• Bring yourself back to your body by using deep breathing. 
• Get your body moving.
• Listen to inspirational music.
• Write down a list of what is scaring you.
• Write down a list of how you’ve moved through similar circumstances and SUCCEEDED.
• Write down a list of things that could go RIGHT in this situation.