Let’s talk about this topic for a bit. I hear this word come up a lot around the topic of romantic love. Many of us long for a ‘soulmate’. Someone who can be our best friend, someone who ‘just gets us’, that one person who is perfectly in tune with who we are, perfectly aligned to all our positive and negative traits! Sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it? Even in meeting the most compatible of partners, we still find that there is some distance to bridge or some kinks to iron out. 

The idea of a soulmate is a concept that speaks to the highest potential of human relating. It was formed in our very human world. It is sometimes a very dangerous idea that may threaten our sense of autonomy. It may also be an unrealistic idea that we use to keep what is very real at bay. We may have even held our very perfectly flawed partners to this unachievable gold standard in relationships. Beyond the concept is a longing for depth and connection that we are seeking to be fulfilled in our romantic partnerships. Like with all things – we have to become that first to ourselves before we can receive it. 

The word ‘partnership’ implies a team (two functioning parts of a whole). If we are not happy within ourselves, how much are we adding to our partnerships? Or do we need to look at what our relationship to ourselves is first, so that we can contribute in a more meaningful way to the partnership? The truth is we all want to be partnered up while not realizing that we are a partner to ourselves first because we are in relationship to ourselves FIRST. So what if we could apply this concept to ourselves so that we can be better soulmates for others.

How would your relationship to yourself change if you could be a soulmate to yourself? Would you be a good soulmate to yourself? How would you feel about yourself if you considered yourself your own soulmate? 

You could go deeper with this and ask yourself:

• What is my partner’s experience of me as a soulmate?
• How could I show up for them in a way that feels better for us both?
• What is my relationship lacking at the moment? How can I first try and give that to myself and then bring that into my relationship?

Dare to be your very own soulmate first and then extend that relationship to the others in your life!

In love and gratitude,