What to do when life gets in the way?

What to do when life gets in the way?

by | May 29, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

You know this one all too well: 

you plan to the most minute detail, to account for everything in your life until it throws you a curveball! Life’s sense of humour, when we take our lives too seriously, can really test what we’re made of. 

What do we usually do in situations like these? 

We go into a frenzy, we stress about how things will work out, we internalise the situation, and feel shame or guilt for being human. This is our default process, our unconscious and very mammalian stress response kicking into gear.

How do we respond differently to these outside circumstances that are so loud and demanding of our immediate attention?

  • We go in the opposite direction. 
  • We stand our ground firmly and how we do that is by steadying our nervous system.
  • We plant ourselves firmly in our bodies by consciously becoming aware of our breath. We allow our breath to deepen as it takes us deeper into our bodies.
  • We may play some soothing music.
  • We may feel like crying, laughing or screaming (this is the release response – letting go of all that tension that is welling up inside the body). You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to let all that worry and stress out of your body, even if it takes you to a feeling of complete powerlessness. That is just the call for you to surrender. 

Usually when we have some kind of release, we allow ourselves to become emptier and more receptive to the information and guidance that is waiting for us. It comes in the form of inspiration to go in a new direction or to take a different action step. We may find that what has just gone wrong wants us to apply a completely new solution. All new information of the highest quality is waiting for your receptivity to be open and trusted before it can be recognised by our centers for cognition.

Most of the time, we want to know what this detour has happened, because we don’t have all the information available to us at the time. Have you ever looked back at the circumstances of your past and realised that certain things needed to happen, no matter how painful or inconvenient at the time? Looking back you can see why you were meant to stay in a place you were longing to get out of (maybe you met someone really amazing as a result or found a job that is exactly right for you in that place). We can never see the whole picture, we can only see the square that we have our feet on at the time. The thing about life is that it is constantly unfolding and we won’t ever ‘know’ for sure how things will pan out. Our work lies in trusting the path of our unfolding and also letting go of any preconceptions about our futures that are based on past fears.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. – John Lennon

Individual practicing deep breathing meditation for stress relief
Quote on What to do when life gets in the way?
Hands releasing light symbolizing the emotional release and letting go of stress

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Old Emotions, New Situations

Old Emotions, New Situations

by | May 22, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Our thoughts, emotions, and bodies are all connected. Western medicine and healing modalities traditionally dealt with these as separate parts – almost like a mechanic would service a car. We are slowly beginning to realise that contrary to this perspective on human beings, there is an interconnectedness between all parts these parts, they are in fact a reflection of each other and work together.

I was at my laptop and found a bill that was sent to me without a breakdown of the total amount. My immediate thought was ‘’I always get screwed over’’ and then my heart started racing away. I stepped away from my laptop to go make some tea because I saw that where I was was in an outdated version of thinking that the new me had worked very hard on purging. The old belief was ‘’I always get screwed over.’’ I understood that the belief formed an emotion within my body and that emotion prompted my body to release a chemical response that caused my heart to start racing. 

Just having the knowledge of the process helped me this time, but it wasn’t enough to still the thoughts that gripped me so tightly, trying to force me to accept them as true. I stood there, stirring the pot as I slow-brewed my tea. I identified (from past experiences) that I had to get my awareness back into my body and soften the blow to my nervous system. As I stirred the pot I started doing my deep diaphragm breathing making sure that my inhales were as long as my exhales. I focused on bringing more oxygen into my body. By the time my tea was brewed, I was feeling a lot more expansive and fully in control of my ship!

I walked over to my laptop and responded to the email and then decided to ring the sender in a calm manner to find out what the problem was. To my surprise, it was a problem with my email, and the breakdown of the statement was easily viewed from another email address. After feeling a tad foolish and remembering that this was an old identity paying out, I was able to see the situation as a beautiful reminder that ‘’I am always supported in my world’’ (my new belief to replace the distorted one).

The moral of the story – Old identities try to express themselves through new situations and if we are aware of the fact that they have no relevance to us now, we can quickly step into who we are now and what we are wanting to affirm for our lives. It takes some time to practice a new identity and it takes some time for the old versions to run themselves out of their system but every time we affirm by putting our attention on what our preference is at any moment, we begin to shift over to our new versions (and new neural pathways).

Much love!

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

Settling the Nervous System and PTSD

Settling the Nervous System and PTSD

by | Mar 24, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

Sometimes in life, there will be unforeseen incidents that may make our hearts pound and leave us shaking at the knees. One such incident happened to me over the weekend and re-ignited a long-forgotten PTSD response.

Myself and my little chihuahua had been bitten by a dog that escaped its yard in our apartment complex. We both got away relatively unscathed. After my heart rate returned to normal and I made sure that my Belle was alright I sat down and felt the most unnerving and terrible feeling in my body. It felt like I had sand in my veins – a most uncomfortable buzz that I had solved many years ago after having suffered through it for many years of my life. My body was experiencing PTSD. 

This time was different, I had support from friends and loved ones along with an arsenal of techniques to get me out of freeze mode. I got my yoga mat out and did some T.R.E. (trauma release exercise). It felt good to feel my body shake off the stress. I allowed myself to cry out all that fear that was stuck in my body. I started feeling angry at the owner, who was negligent enough to not secure his front gate that allowed the dog to escape, so I grabbed a couch cushion and screamed the anger into it until I felt I was completely done. I did a few side stretches, to help my nervous system to settle. I felt semi-decent again. I took a call from someone I love dearly, and we spoke through the event, and after all that, I felt like I had passed it. 

I tried to move through my day as usual but what I noticed was that my thoughts were all heavy and dark and there was a tightness in my body. Something was still gripping me tight and I realized I hadn’t fully let go of the incident from earlier that day. I focused very intently on gratitude and trying to notice the positive things about my day but it was almost as if I had no access to them. I was stuck in a loop with PTSD. 

The next day, I repeated the whole process of the day before all over again – and then the release came. I wept hysterically, and as I did something broke open. It was a feeling that came through very subtly and softly that gave me access to peace. It was my nervous system settling. I wanted to share this piece with you especially if you have been struggling with a dysregulated nervous system or if you have been stuck in a shock response for some time. You can familiarize yourself with some of the tools I mention. It may not help you instantly, but it does have an accumulative effect, I can assure you. 

Here is a summary of the tools and techniques I have used, along with some added practices: 

  • T.R.E. – great for shaking off stress.
  • Talking to someone you’re close to as a support.
  • Deep belly breathing or Holotropic Breathwork
  • Journalling
  • Expressing your emotion through crying or screaming 
  • Yoga or deep stretching
  • Gym workouts
  • Playing music that you feel is appropriate.

I hope this serves 

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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