Human Connection

Human Connection

There is so much to human relating and communication. One thing no one teaches us is how to CONNECT with another, how to FEEL another, and how to RECEIVE another. Being present is a lot more than being with someone in the body. It’s a deep LISTENING to what someone is saying, but also what they are not saying. It’s tuning into their emotions and their story, their subtle movements when a part of their story is uncomfortable to relay, paying attention to their shiftiness as they try to hide their embarrassment or shame, the conviction in their eyes as they try to avoid their pain.

Have you ever sat with someone and truly allowed yourself to be their witness? To witness who they are, what they are saying beyond their words, beyond the account of their story? This is the receptive mode that allows us to open ourselves beyond the perceptions of our own stories and understandings to truly connect with another human. 

When we practice this deep listening with someone, we not only suspend our own narratives, irritations, and need to respond to what they are conveying, but we create safety from a place of presence. This foundation of safety leads to deep trust and they are the elements of building a strong relationship. It is the place that encourages sharing, not only exchanging words and accounts but sharing who we truly other with the other, sharing what matters to us, what makes us cry, what brings us ecstasy, what we fear the most, and where our deepest passions lie. 

If you practice this deep listening with someone, you also encourage them to do the same, you hold them to a higher standard. However, can you also allow yourself to be received by another? Can you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to share your story and allow yourself to be held by another (without judging yourself or judging another for the manner in which they choose to hold you?). Watch how you may try to censor yourself to try and protect yourself from the risk of being judged or feeling uncomfortable. Watch how you may experience fear of being truly seen as you open to another human being. Watch as you experience shame in sharing your experience with another.

Bear in mind, human relating is DYNAMIC, so you may not get the same as you give (we are all at different places with relating to ourselves and that will show up in our relating with others). Being the pioneer to encourage deeper connecting in your relating makes you brave and will only leave you feeling good about yourself and your relationships.

Reflections:

  • How open is your heart to connection?
  • How receptive are you to receiving another?
  • How willing are you to be truly seen by another human being and how willing are you to truly open your eyes to see another?

Two hands reaching out to each other, symbolizing openness and connection in human relationships.
A person in deep thought reflecting on communication and connection.

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Soulmates

Soulmates

Let’s talk about this topic for a bit. I hear this word come up a lot around the topic of romantic love. Many of us long for a ‘soulmate’. Someone who can be our best friend, someone who ‘just gets us’, that one person who is perfectly in tune with who we are, perfectly aligned to all our positive and negative traits! Sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it? Even in meeting the most compatible of partners, we still find that there is some distance to bridge or some kinks to iron out. 

The idea of a soulmate is a concept that speaks to the highest potential of human relating. It was formed in our very human world. It is sometimes a very dangerous idea that may threaten our sense of autonomy. It may also be an unrealistic idea that we use to keep what is very real at bay. We may have even held our very perfectly flawed partners to this unachievable gold standard in relationships. Beyond the concept is a longing for depth and connection that we are seeking to be fulfilled in our romantic partnerships. Like with all things – we have to become that first to ourselves before we can receive it. 

The word ‘partnership’ implies a team (two functioning parts of a whole). If we are not happy within ourselves, how much are we adding to our partnerships? Or do we need to look at what our relationship to ourselves is first, so that we can contribute in a more meaningful way to the partnership? The truth is we all want to be partnered up while not realizing that we are a partner to ourselves first because we are in relationship to ourselves FIRST. So what if we could apply this concept to ourselves so that we can be better soulmates for others.

How would your relationship to yourself change if you could be a soulmate to yourself? Would you be a good soulmate to yourself? How would you feel about yourself if you considered yourself your own soulmate? 

You could go deeper with this and ask yourself:

  • What is my partner’s experience of me as a soulmate?
  • How could I show up for them in a way that feels better for us both?
  • What is my relationship lacking at the moment? How can I first try and give that to myself and then bring that into my relationship?

Dare to be your very own soulmate first and then extend that relationship to the others in your life!

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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