Have you identified your values?

Have you identified your values?

by | Feb 27, 2023 | Blog | 0 comments

I have been finding that we create from our values. What we prioritize in our day or in our lives will usually give us an indication of how much value we place on that behavior or thing. For example, you are not going to place a high value on eating brussels sprouts if the chocolate bar gives you more pleasure. Essentially you’re valuing sensory pleasure more than you are nutrition. 

The entire process happens within a nanosecond, and we usually aren’t aware of the fact that we are making a choice in the first place. It happens at warp speed. It’s all been automated for you by your sensory experience and/or the values we adopted from our parents/caregivers. Sometimes we wonder why, when we have a clear intention, we still aren’t achieving what we set out to achieve. 

What I have found is that a lot of the time, there is an internal conflict between our intentions and our values about that particular thing/person/behavior.  We may have a strong and clear intention to save our money but we ‘just can’t help ourselves’ at eating out a few times per month because we really like the social element of eating out. In this situation, we’re placing a higher value on socializing than we are on saving money. There is a value misalignment between what we find valuable and our intention.

How can we streamline this process?

  • We have to check our values and make sure that all of our parts are on board with our intention.
  • We need to look at how receiving that thing or achieving that outcome is going to be valuable to us, how is it going to serve our lives. How is going to add to our lives?
  • Define your values for yourself – what motivates you to do the things you do? Don’t bullsh*t yourself or tell yourself lies. Be honest about what motivates you.
  • Pinpoint how exactly your intention fits in with your values. For example, I would like to lose 5kg because I want to look and feel healthier. (intention) I would have to then prioritize health and value my evening walks instead of the high value I put on relaxing in front of the television.

Getting our values and intentions aligned may require us to make behavior the necessary behavior changes and if your intention is clear, you will have all the willpower to exercise over this process.

Incremental changes are how we improve and transform any aspect of our lives.

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

SURRENDER

SURRENDER

by | Jun 28, 2022 | Blog | 0 comments

Let’s talk about letting go! This topic would make me cringe all the way to my core just a short while ago. I was hard set about how everything in my life ‘’ought to be’’. I saw any type of bending this kind of thinking as weakness or defeat. Rigid much?! 

Any thought of change in a significant part of my life would launch me into a sweaty-palmed panic and bouts of insomnia. I’d roll my eyes at my sister as she called out my resistance to letting go. I wasn’t resistant! Of course, I was!

Sound familiar? We find comfort and safety in things staying the same and it can be to our detriment. This will make sense if you’re in a relationship that has run its course or if you’re at a job that doesn’t bring you joy anymore. It once did, so what we do is end up romanticizing the past. Our minds stay fixated there as if by focusing there we can resuscitate it. But holding on to an idea of how something should cause us to feel dissatisfied, and painfully so. That feeling of dissatisfaction is a wonderful indicator that our holding on is not congruent with our inner being. 

When we are holding on so tightly, we narrow our focus and lose sight of the bigger picture. It takes a lot of effort and energy to hold on so tightly. Not only does it tire us out, but it also stops us from growing. You can’t be open to exploring new versions of yourself and new experiences if you’re hell-bent on holding on to the old, can you?

It is at that moment that we must go in a different direction and travel the path of least resistance. And what we experience as we drop the oars and allow our boat to be guided by the current of the stream, is a feeling of deep TRUST and RELIEF. Relief in knowing that we are not in control of every aspect of our existence and trust in the natural course of our life’s flow. 

There is grace in the act of surrender. A softening of who we think we should be, how we think others should be, and how we think situations should be. Accept that life is a series of evolution over time and that everyone and everything is always in this state of evolution.

Then you take a deep sigh of relief! You don’t have to carry all that heavy glass of water around all the time, you can set it down. You can lean into your life’s natural flow and in doing that you can inspire everyone else to do the same. That is not only surrendering but implicitly, trust too. 

And what about safety? We begin to change our relationship to change. We may begin to widen our lens on this too. What if we no longer mentally defined change by danger and unsafety but by the delicious adventure of life instead? What if we see it as a crack in the seams of life that is ushering in new possibilities? What if the change we experience is the doorway to more fulfilling opportunities on the road of life?

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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