Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole

Deep down you’ve known something wasn’t quite right inside. So you read a little and you understand a little more.

You decide – I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I must be able to fix it. So you reach out and find a professional to hold your hand through their process to understand a little more. 

You spend a few months, maybe a few years. Maybe its helped your mind understand that maybe your parents yelling profanities in your face had a little to do with it and your first love broke your trust in the opposite sex and that definitely had something to do with it. It’s still gnawing at your insides – something still isn’t quite right.

You decide – I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I must be able to fix it. So get a little help from your search engine and you find something else. You book your first consultation for whoo-whoo energy healing session with a lady who burns incense and judging from her room –  has an endless fascination with colourful rocks. You don’t buy in but you’re willing to try it. After all you must be able to fix it.

You spend a few months, indulging her whimsical dispositions. You feel a little different, maybe a month, maybe two. You saw your folks last December, it comes up again. I must be able to fix it. You hear of something that will definitely help for sure, something that is a little bit out of character. A microdose of an unfamiliar substance. It sounds like a far-reach, but if it comes in a pill form – it surely works. You gather details together with the product. Its been a few good months, you’ve been better and then your partner wants a divorce. You feel it again. Something isn’t quite right. I must be able to fix it.

Your spouse leaves. You feel worst off than you start off. The pain is unbearable and your parents screaming profanities had nothing to do with it this time. There are no more pills left, you gone as far as you can go and the low you’ve hit tops rock bottom. You get under the covers and stay there – it’s been 3 whole days of unrelenting tears and pain turned to body ache. You can’t eat – you’re too busy digesting all these emotions. It comes through, your lifetime of denying these feelings. You offer them up on your alter, one by one as they pour out of every pore

Two hands reaching out to each other, symbolizing openness and connection in human relationships.
A person in deep thought reflecting on communication and connection.

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What makes you trust someone?

You’re likely to trust someone who has a proven track record to be deserving of your trust.

They have probably shown up for you in the past, consistently so.

You have probably found that their words and actions are in alignment i.e., they do what they say they will.

They have probably been reliable and not given you any ‘half-in, half-out’ vibes. They are all in!

These are all signs of someone who is worthy of trust. You feel safe around them because they are supportive and demonstrate that they love you through their actions and words. You can count on them to be there for you when you are in need. Someone who has your back.

Now turn that on yourself. Yeah, you have a relationship with yourself based in trust/distrust too. 

Are you displaying behaviors that signal it is safe to trust yourself? Or are you showing yourself that you can’t be trusted through how you treat yourself? 

Are you committed to yourself yet? Or are you still on the fence? Are you waiting for someone better to commit to, to bring you everything you’re wanting? To love you better perhaps, or make you feel a certain way? 

If you are, you will always be waiting and you will always be disappointed. You heard the saying ‘’if you want it, you must become it.’’ In the very same way, if you are not building self-trust, you’re probably attracting people and situations in your life that you cannot trust. You must be that for yourself first or all you’ll get back are people who don’t commit to you either. 

How do you build trust with yourself?

  • It starts with a commitment to yourself first. You also have to be tired of doing the same shit you’ve always done. It starts with a decision to move in the direction of taking charge of your life and how you feel. 
  • If you say you’re going to do something, do it! When you don’t follow through with a commitment to yourself, you are proving that you cannot trust yourself (and it’s highly likely you’ll feel shitty for disappointing yourself).
  • Speak to yourself like someone you’re building trust with. If you are learning to build trust with yourself, you have to speak to yourself with loving kindness and compassion. If you are wagging your finger in your own face for mistakes you make, you are likely to repeat those mistakes or sabotage all your efforts. Be kind and gentle.
  • Set realistic goals. You don’t start running a marathon by running a marathon. You start by running bit by bit every day. You do it consistently. If you are setting goals that are unrealistic and unachievable, you won’t be able to follow through with them and you’ll be sending yourself the message, through not being able to follow through, that you are untrustworthy. Be realistic about how you set your goals. Make the follow-through easy.

“If you’re going to trust one person, let it be yourself.” – Robert Tew

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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