Changing Scenery

Changing Scenery

When we’re accustomed to ‘how life is’ and ‘business as usual”. We take for granted that it will never change. Just look at the past two years, who would have thought that we would ever see the world change almost overnight – yet it has. Almost every area of our lives has been impacted. The way we do business, the way we shop, our social interactions, and even what we consume as entertainment. Scary, isn’t it?! 

Do you recall how we all were at the onset of the lockdowns, having retreated into the cave? We were a world in absolute disarray and panic. And look at us now coming out again, altered, having churned out a more resilient way of being in the world. 

We are witnessing the steady crumbling of all the structures we thought would be around for a long time. In South Africa, we are facing a crumbling of our infrastructure as our government cannot meet our electricity needs; in the US we have seen legislation passed, opposing the rights of women to choose what to do with their bodies; we have seen a watched the breakout of war between Russia and Ukraine. I could go on, but the point I am making is not a political one. 

Things are changing rapidly as we steer ourselves from one hurdle to the next, our landscape changes with little reprieve. Most of us have been taught to resist change, and that resistance always emerged in favour of our survival. I found The Croods (a DreamWorks Animation) a beautiful story that depicted this resistance all too well… Grug (the father) was challenged out of this belief upon meeting a more evolved caveman who told him it was no longer safe to stay in the cave, that staying in the same place would mean death for him and his family, as their environment was changing. So they set out on a completely unknown path to find a completely unknown world that was only heresy. Along their journey, they confronted many obstacles and were faced with many challenges. They were led only by the hope of a possibility. They risked what was safe for what one could have considered fantasy. We have been so conditioned into the belief that familiarity breeds safety. Of course, why not trust this model, it has gained eons of credibility? And in the past, we may have done exactly that. 

But as the waters of the past two years settle, realise we cannot go back. We are undeniably altered. And even if we could go back, we have grown immeasurably. Our physical realities have shifted and along with it our internal landscape. This creates a beautiful emptiness, a space in which one can choose differently or even the usual. The gift is our awareness of the choice that we have. We are beginning to open up to the possibility that change does not have to be scary and that maybe we are in more control than we think we are. We have become aware of how we can use our creative wiles and newly cultivated resilience to create something entirely new. The lockdowns were demonstrative of the nature of the human spirit as people found brought out their hidden talents and if they weren’t aware of them, they developed them. We saw people from all over the world post on social media about their creativity and artistic talents. Like a new breath to a second life, something quite beautiful was being born. 

We are learning that holding onto our old ways of thinking and being in the world, our comforts essentially could be to our detriment. It’s like being thrown into a pool of uncertainty in these times with no life raft in sight. Some of us have been leaning into new ways of being at the expense of the old. Surrendering all our old concepts of who we are and what the world is in exchange for embracing a completely unknown reality – quite possibly a more magical one. Some of us have stayed in the cave, not quite ready to let go, as we hold on to our beliefs because they give us a sense of safety and familiarity. Either choice has its own set of consequences and obstacles, but the choice remains ours. 

I’ll leave you with this: Will you choose to remain in the illusion of safety, or will you choose your evolution?

‘’The strongest principle of human growth lies in choice.’’ ~ George Elliot

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

SURRENDER

SURRENDER

Let’s talk about letting go! This topic would make me cringe all the way to my core just a short while ago. I was hard set about how everything in my life ‘’ought to be’’. I saw any type of bending this kind of thinking as weakness or defeat. Rigid much?! 

Any thought of change in a significant part of my life would launch me into a sweaty-palmed panic and bouts of insomnia. I’d roll my eyes at my sister as she called out my resistance to letting go. I wasn’t resistant! Of course, I was!

Sound familiar? We find comfort and safety in things staying the same and it can be to our detriment. This will make sense if you’re in a relationship that has run its course or if you’re at a job that doesn’t bring you joy anymore. It once did, so what we do is end up romanticizing the past. Our minds stay fixated there as if by focusing there we can resuscitate it. But holding on to an idea of how something should cause us to feel dissatisfied, and painfully so. That feeling of dissatisfaction is a wonderful indicator that our holding on is not congruent with our inner being. 

When we are holding on so tightly, we narrow our focus and lose sight of the bigger picture. It takes a lot of effort and energy to hold on so tightly. Not only does it tire us out, but it also stops us from growing. You can’t be open to exploring new versions of yourself and new experiences if you’re hell-bent on holding on to the old, can you?

It is at that moment that we must go in a different direction and travel the path of least resistance. And what we experience as we drop the oars and allow our boat to be guided by the current of the stream, is a feeling of deep TRUST and RELIEF. Relief in knowing that we are not in control of every aspect of our existence and trust in the natural course of our life’s flow. 

There is grace in the act of surrender. A softening of who we think we should be, how we think others should be, and how we think situations should be. Accept that life is a series of evolution over time and that everyone and everything is always in this state of evolution.

Then you take a deep sigh of relief! You don’t have to carry all that heavy glass of water around all the time, you can set it down. You can lean into your life’s natural flow and in doing that you can inspire everyone else to do the same. That is not only surrendering but implicitly, trust too. 

And what about safety? We begin to change our relationship to change. We may begin to widen our lens on this too. What if we no longer mentally defined change by danger and unsafety but by the delicious adventure of life instead? What if we see it as a crack in the seams of life that is ushering in new possibilities? What if the change we experience is the doorway to more fulfilling opportunities on the road of life?

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

REST

REST

Maybe you’ll rest after you help your son with his math homework? Maybe you’ll rest after you’ve gotten that promotion you’ve been gunning for? Maybe you’ll rest at the weekend? 

How often do you make rest a priority? Or rather, where does rest land on your to-do-list? Rest is considered a luxury in our fast-paced society and because we value productivity more than we do rest, it is an understated necessity. 

It’s sometimes even the most difficult thing to bestow upon ourselves. I think it was the movie ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ that got me familiar with the Italian term dolce far niente or the art of doing nothing (as it turns out, it’s an actual thing). Then I was re-introduced to the notion by a wonderful client of mine who had practiced this, guilt free!

So I thought I’d indulge myself, as much as my conscience would allow, for an entire week! It was challenging to not be busied with my usual routine, but I actually got to watching more than 1 episode of a Netflix series (practically unheard of). Not only that, I indulged a little further as my body was calling for some much needed TLC, and booked a massage. 

My rest started taking the shape of something other than just coach potato-ing, but it became more intentional as I moved through the week and felt into what I was really needing. It took the form of a walk in the park with my 2 chihuahuas, a long browse at the local bookstore, a coffee date with myself and a long soak in the tub and being leisurely about reading.

By the end of my rest week, I felt ALIVE, REJUVENATED AND REVIVIED. It was a busy week but I realised rest doesn’t have to look like sleep or couching it infront of the T.V. It grew as a result of reconnecting with the things I really wanted to do but didn’t have the time for.

It may sound completely counter intuitive but sometimes a reset of your usual is exactly what you need to be the most productive!

 

You are deserving of rest and so is your productivity!

 

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

FREEDOM

FREEDOM

Have you ever felt ‘boxed in’? Perhaps within the rigid confines of your office job or the routine of everyday life? I’m sure you understand this feeling. Its characteristic signs are feeling trapped and unable to move.

I used to still feel this way after having left my corporate job and starting my own business. I still felt like I was working at my corporate job; the same terms and conditions, only this time I was doing it to myself. 

Let’s flip that: 

Let’s say that you move jobs and have more freedom in terms of your routine. Now you are free to explore how you are still holding yourself hostage to how your mind thinks you should do your routine or your job. Same experience, but self-imposed. 

Until we start really looking at how we need to rethink our lives and change up our beliefs about it, can we really experience the freedom that is available to us. It doesn’t start with a new job or a new relationship but rather, a reframe of our internal workings. The rest will take care of itself from this new awareness. 

We can have all the freedom available to us in our world, but if we are still playing ‘slave’ to our internal dialogues, we are not free.

Questions to reflect on:

  • How are my routines keeping me from living my desired life?
  • How am I holding on to old ways of thinking?
  • What is the predominant feeling I want to have in my life?

 

“Claim the state of FREEDOM that is there WITHIN you. It is an internal process.’’

In love and gratitude,

Need more guidance?

If you want to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE to  enroll for my coaching program where I tailor a process specifically for YOUR transformation.

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